Monday, June 12, 2006

to wash or not to wash

through many days of careful and intense monitoring (like a true psyc student), i've reached conclusive data pertaining to sweatypalmsintheoffice.

on a regular day in the artic office, i arrive at 830, my hands dry. they would remain status quo for the next few hours, unless something irregular and nerve tingling comes along which would result in.. the inevitable (and of course one cannot ignore these outlier data but for the purposes of this observation we shall negate them and read data soley from 'regular days'). in this office of mine, we have cartons and cartons and cartons of icemountainpuredrinkingwater, thoughtfully provided by my organisation for our visitors and meetings. we, the staff, are sanctioned to help ourselves to the neverdiminishing supply of h2o. hydration, akin to the likes of moisturising, is very important (note the above reference to 'artic'). it's my belief the company i work for doesn't really want their staff to shrivel up and die (due to dehydration at least. humanitarian organisations would have a fit). so consuming litres of water daily is key. please remember: the governmental recommendations is 8 glasses of water a day, and we ARE a 'governmental' organisation. however, consuming so much water, the processes within (kidneys do hard labour-treasure thy kidneys; osmosis here and there) causes the bladder to accumulate great amounts of fluids which leads to certain neccessities (which i'm too conservative to mention but starts with a P and rhymes with E). at this point, i wash my hands and things are never the same again. it's a very trying, very exasperating experience. and here, after tabulation of data pertaining to sweatypalmsintheoffice, i conclude that due to some strange unknown phenomenon, washing my hands make. them. sweat.

in counteraction to this dilemma, i've conjured several solutions. one. don't drink. but then, i'll dehydrate (refer above to shrivelling and dying). two. don't follow through with the certain neccessities. but then i'll... nvm. moving rapidly along. three. go through the neccessary neglecting the use of soap and water. but then, thats. just. disgusting.

i consider this a catch22 situation.

oh. i just thought of number four. stay at home.

No comments: